Constructive negotiations, self-belief and accelerating your impact

Ever noticed how kids at a shopping mall get their way with their parents?

They’ll scream and shout, maybe even stamp their feet, until that toy reaches the checkout counter.

Ironically, it’s not too different with ‘grown-ups’, who more often than not are just kids stuck in adult bodies.

It’s not uncommon to see couples, company leaders and politicians in parliament throw their own tantrums to win an argument.

Little do they realize what a total waste of time it is, because operating from the ego ends up doing more damage than good.

In their defense, it’s not entirely their fault though. I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember a single lesson in school about how to communicate in a conscious way.

And so we just learned to wing it in conversations, assuming that raising our voices or shutting people down helps in conveying what we want to say.

Time to turn things around a bit…

Believe it or not, an underrated yet effective way to get your point across, during a disagreement, is to show that you agree with their point.

This approach is called leaning in with curiosity, much like a scientist. There’s nothing to win or lose, just to learn what the other person has to say. Since humans unconsciously mirror each other, the opponent can often warm up to taking your views on board too.

This culture of reciprocity can turn arguments into conversations and conflict into connection.

So the next time you find yourself in a heated argument, step back and find common ground. Is there something you can agree with? Even the tiniest thing…Start with that.

If someone’s being stubborn in their view, respond with curiosity. What makes them so attached to their belief? What’s at stake for them?

When you shift the focus from arguing and convincing to learning ad and understanding, you’ll be surprised by shifts that take place in your equation and even the conversation at hand.

The miracles of self-belief

The biggest paradox of human nature is that comfort is wired in our DNA but at the same time, it paralyses our growth.

Many people stay stuck in the familiar zones, entertaining their doubts and being held back by fears. It’s under these circumstances that stagnation starts to creep in.

Handling discomfort doesn’t come easy to us let alone embracing it.

But Leah Chowdhry is one heck of an exception.

She willingly immersed herself in a 14-hour uncomfortable swim battling darkness, seasickness and jellyfish across the English Channel, to raise funds for charity.

In this episode, she shares her journey of:

-How she trained her mind to extraordinary levels of resilience
-How she leverages imposters syndrome to her advantage; and
-Achieved what most people would diss as impossible.

A simple way to accelerate your impact

Most people wait to receive fancy ass titles before they work towards creating impact.

If that were the case, every CEO or leader would act to the likes of Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandela. Winning the hearts of the workforce, creating ripples throughout their companies, which is not always quite the case.

Impact can be created from the tiniest of acts and the shortest conversations. It comes from being aware of the impact of your words and actions on others.

Basically, it all ties back to emotional intelligence. The more self-aware you are, the more effectively you can handle your emotions, enhancing the quality of your interactions and relationships.

But from a young age, we were expected to shove our emotions away and put up facades. No one ever taught us any better.

So I put together a toolkit to change things around. With this personal guide, you will learn to:

• Unlock the power of self-awareness

• Navigate tricky emotions

• Transform conflicts into constructive dialogue

• Boost your influence without a fancy job title

In case you missed last week’s edition, here you are: