Expand personal power and overcoming addictions

The other day I was working on something while listening to a meditative track in the background.

The video showed a monk’s back, sitting peacefully on a big rock at a high mountain peak.

That image made me think- how wonderful would it be if our lives were like this?

Just complete serenity and bliss, not a worry about the world or any fears of judgment.

Before I could further dwell on that, my mind quickly diverted me back to the time I was losing, so off that thought went, back to the far-fetched reality that it came from.

This is how stress sabotages our happiness levels…

We’re rarely in the moment and are constantly jumping from one thing to the next. In fact, feeling a loss of control is one of the biggest contributors to stress.

At some level, we all want to feel like we are masters of our own fate, rather than having circumstances dictate us.

A bunch of studies across students as well as employees prove that greater feelings of control increase happiness levels, higher performance and even more motivation to pursue goals.

This is not about developing superpowers overnight but about focusing on the smallest things within your span of control.

Psychologists have a fancy term for this called internal locus of control- the belief that our actions have a direct effect on our outcomes.

When things seem messy and all over the place, the best way to recenter the self is to find the smallest thing within your span of control and double down on that.

Whether something works out or doesn’t work out, believing that any results are a consequence of your actions and efforts is incredibly empowering.

It creates a boost of confidence, to make better choices towards shaping a better destiny. What can be more fulfilling than that?

You probably didn’t see this twist coming but taking ownership of the choices and outcomes is the closest thing to being at monk-like peace.

So the next time you’re hit by a wave of stress or anxiety, remember to get back to your internal locus of control.

The weak side of the human mind

The human mind with its intricate desires and vulnerabilities is easily swayed by temptations.

It’s these very temptations that make one prone to addiction and when addictions dictate one’s state of being, it’s entering dangerous territory.

Sexual addiction is one such area. it sabotages intimacy, increases mistrust, and destroys relationships. This unspoken problem can feel very isolating and creates emotional turmoil.

Luckily there are people in the world who are dedicated to helping victims through this and my last guest Patrick Eilers is one of those. As a licensed professional counselor who specialises in sexual addiction, Patrick shares some insights on:

-How to identify signs of sexual addiction
-How one-night stands and the hook-up culture sabotage the very intimacy people seek; and
-Preventive steps for overcoming addiction.

The importance of context

-5 am clubs
-Cold showers
-Ironman workouts
-Intermittent fasting

The list goes on…..

The question is- what’s best for you…

No wait actually, who decides what’s best anyway?

Our friend Mark Manson simplifies this ever-perplexing question and puts things in perspective with this brilliant tweet.

Who doesn’t like some classic advice that doesn’t suck, from this guy.

Enjoy…

In case you missed me last week….