Finding your way to connection and calmness

Connected yet disconnected

We humans are a pretty needy race.

We have a bunch of needs to keep us going and one of them is social connection.

No amount of technology or advancement can ever replace that. If anything we’re being deluded by it.

Think about it…

Despite the myriad of platforms claiming to keep us “connected”, loneliness and disconnection are on the rise like never before.

A 2021 study found that almost half of Americans (49%) report having lesser than three real friends, a percentage that sadly has only increased since 1990.

Clearly, our lifestyle has improved but it hasnt been accompaned by the quality of our friendships.

So.. we’ve established that being loaded with apps and having a few extra thousand ‘friends’ and followers on social does not translate to actual meaningful connections. Turns out it takes more than that for us to truly tick with each other.

Nearly half our interactions in every setting have been digitized, whether it’s ordering stuff online instead of going out to shop, using dating apps instead of getting out and meeting people synchronously or running meetings on Zoom instead of interacting in the actual workplace.

But even with these significant shifts, there’s still scope for how we show up:

👉🏻Send actual responses instead of meaningless reactions on social.
👉🏻Go deeper in conversations rather than making transactional exchanges.
👉🏻Be present when you are with people, instead of making plans with someone else for some other time over your device.
👉🏻Give a compliment to someone you follow instead of wasting energy by sending a mean comment.

It’s the seemingly significant things that can make all the difference and authenticity goes a long way.

Also, no kidding, but our increased use of social media has come with a side effect of increased anxiety in real-life social situations.

Luckiluy there’s a way around that too: Shift your focus from yourself to taking a genuine interest in the other person. This simple trick can ease off the fear of judgment that often holds us back from going all in and initiating conversations.

Let your curiosity guide you and allow the connection to unfold naturally.

Ultimately, loneliness and isolation are our own doing and there’s nothing that can stop us from reversing the situation.

Just gotta go back to basics.

Finding your inner calm

The mind can be a pretty noisy place and the nature of our modern lifestyles doesn’t exactly help our case.

The constant comparisons, the self-inflicted judgments, the need for wanting and chasing for more and of course doing it all over again…

Training the mind to a state of bliss requires patience and persistence, not to mention acceptance of what is.

These and many profound concepts were discussed in my last episode with Dan Goldfield.

This guy is the closest version of Yoda in real life. He’s spent over 5 years studying with a monk and has meditated for 29,366 hours.

If you’re remotely interested in learning about how to calm the mind, practice the art of contentment and be Buddha-like in this crazy chaotic world you may want to hear what Dan has to share.

The power of breath

Breathing is one of the most underrated features of our existance. It offers a ton of benefits which aren’t leveraged enough.

Which is a shame when you dive into its benefits… Stress reduction, lowered blood pressure, better sleep and pain reduction to name a few.

Just a few minutes of focused breathwork can regulate your mood and overall state. Box breathing is famous for this.

It takes 4 counts each of inhaling, holding, exhaling and holding again to activate your paraysmpathetic system and get you recentered.

Needless to say, this technique can be applied to a ton of situations including when you’re stuck in a traffic jam, when feeling anxious about something or even when you’re caught up in a confrontational conversation.

You cant always think your way out of stress but you can definitely breathe out of it.

Besides, your lungs are a powerful set of assets- make full use of them.