How to give feedback without creating enemies

In theory, we all understand that feedback is pivotal to growth.

And yet we all resist it like the latest strain of COVID.

Not that it’s entirely our fault because often our subconscious impulses take over at the slightest mention of feedback, and that’s largely because of how it’s delivered.

While it may be tempting to rip someone’s head off and remind them of the nuisance that they are, this hardly serves any useful purpose. The only thing that does emerge from this process is a new enemy.

If you’re guilty of this I’ve got you and here are some things to consider:

Get clear on your intention

Think about why you’re giving this feedback- Is it to put someone down or lift someone up? Believe it or not, this makes all the difference.

When your feedback is directed towards someone’s genuine benefit your diplomatic hat will naturally come on; whereas if it’s just to satisfy your ego, your mouth will spew the nastiest words you didn’t know you were capable of.

Be generous with appreciation

As the famous quote goes “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”
Here’s my version: If you have something nice to say, say it all.

Starting by appreciating someone and making them feel valued increases the likelihood of them being receptive to what you have to say next.

Also worth remembering- Honey catches more flies than vinegar.

Keep it objective

This is where most people completely go off the rails…

What is intended to be a simple, well-meaning observation, spirals into a full-blown character assassination- “You’re laidback, You’re unreliable, you’re a piece of… “ You get the drift.

The trick to avoiding this is, well A.) remembering that no one has ever improved after being called a disaster and B.) separating what someone did (behavior) from who they are (identity)

No one likes to be called names or reminded of their flaws, especially in a condescending way. It’s best to stick to specific examples of things they did (or didn’t do) that could need some tweaking…..

So there you have it.

Once you ace these aspects, you might just actually be able to get someone to improve without making them secretly plot your downfall.

The science of sleep

As someone who is the crankiest person on the planet on anything less than 7 hours of sleep, I can say that getting this aspect of our lives right is pretty pivotal.

So I invited sleep expert Greg Potter to share his views on the subject.

If you’ve been dealing with insomnia, struggling with weight, or failing to create healthy sleep patterns- this episode covers it all.

No more zombying around from being sleep-deprived.

Some Epic Rec’s

👉🏻 I recently got on a diet based on my Doshas, and it’s been a game-changer! Learn all about them here

👉🏻Wim Hoff’s 11-minute breathwork routine is my favorite way to start the day. If you’re into mindful hacks, you might love it too

👉🏻Dopamine is the greatest driver of our behavior and since I geek out on all things brain science, I loved this episode of DOAC that dives into how this neurochemical works.

Thanks for making it to the end, my friend! Are you subscribed yet? If not…