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The pitfalls of always being right, Manifestation myths and a Game changer for conversations
Sukun
June 08, 2024
What’s in store today:
-The pitfalls of aways being right
-The Manifestation myth
-A game changer for conversations
Being right feels good.
It’s also the best invitation to an argument. Instinctively we believe that shoving our opinions down other’s throats will get them to buy into our views quicker.
But that’s rarely how things play out.
If anything, there’s more resistance from the other side and even if an argument is won and the ego’s craving is satisfied, that thrill doesn’t last too long.
An untapped feature about us humans is agreeableness. People lean in with higher receptivity views when they see an effort to agree with theirs.
It’s easy to miss sight of this fact when our egos are activated but the best outcome from any negotiation is one that leaves both parties feeling good.
One way to make this happen is to find common ground. Expert negotiators resort to this strategy instead of heading straight to the battlefield.
When intentions are aligned, conversations flow better. And no matter how opposing two sides may seem, there is always room to spot that point of union.
Turning judgment into curiosity is another way to win people over. Approaching conversations with a learner’s mindset and asking questions, creates a higher likelihood for that curiosity to be reciprocated.
As a rule of thumb, it helps to remember that attacking or condoning people only ends up creating more opposition and hence harder to get a point across.
The Manifestation Myth
From the time we enter this world, we get programmed into following mainstream narratives of success.
More often than not, these successes are materialistic aka things that feel great to have but do little to make us feel whole or truly fulfilled.
Stanford neuroscientist Dr James Doty has lived through it all.
From manifesting his dream goals and fancy desires early on in his career to losing it all and ultimately giving large sums of his hard-earned millions, away.
Today, as an entrepreneur, philanthropist, and the author of Mind Magic he has an important message to share.
In this episode, you’ll hear his profound insights on:
-What we get wrong about manifestation
-The problem with self-interested desires
-The secret to true happiness and fulfillment
A game changer for conversations
Here’s how most heated conversations play out:
Two people have a go at each other, constantly interrupting to make their point and feeling agitated and angry and no one gets heard.
This turns out to be our default setting, unhealthy and destructive in every way.
But a simple shift in approach can change that.
Listening to understand (collaborative), instead of waiting to speak (confrontational;)
Here’s what this could look like:
When someone is saying their peace, hold the urge to speak, if it seems hard take a few deep breaths while continuing to truly listen to understand their perspective before sharing yours.
Try this out the next time and watch your conversations shift.
