The perfect apology, Increasing willpower and Rediscovering happiness

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship.

It doesn't matter how much mutual admiration or alignment two people share, at some point, differences creep in, emotions take over and well people just screw up.

But sometimes despite apologies, resentment lingers and what was once a tight bond eventually can start to wither.

The mistake most people make is saying sorry to clear the air and hoping to move on. Most of the time, this apology isn’t even felt genuinely. It’s simply an attempt to brush off what happened and normalize things to avoid discomfort.

So if you’ve gone down the apology path with a loved one, only to remain unforgiven and feel a wave of frustration that creates another foot-in-the-mouth situation and end up in the same vicious cycle, here’s something to consider:

Own your actions: No apology is worth it, if this is bypassed. As hard as this may feel, taking responsibility for any wrongdoings is the first step to getting through to someone who’s hurting.

A genuine apology is one that acknowledges how the person feels and empathizes with what they must have experienced.

More often than not, people don’t expect an apology as much as they crave to be seen and understood. It’s the most fundamental human need that’s immensely overlooked in today’s world of virtual friendships and superficial exchanges.

But despite all efforts, it is possible to still not be forgiven, in which case the best thing to do is let them be and recenter their physiology. When scars are deeper, the stakes are higher.

Sometimes a true apology is letting people take their time and not expect any reciprocity.

Increasing willpower

Sweet temptations hit the best of us.

It’s not unusual to see people on a sugar-free diet cave into a Tiramisu at a night out, hard-core gym freaks to skip a workout for a Netflix binge, and a recovering addict slyly open another pack of cigarettes.

My stomach is allergic to gluten, but good luck stopping me from devouring a thin-crust pepperoni starting me down.

Roy Baumeister is an American social psychologist who has dedicated his life to studying why humans struggle with self-control.

He believes willpower and self-control to be the key ingredients to success, and you might just agree with him.

If you’re looking to level up your game in this domain, you may want to tune in to this conversation, where we explore:

💪The foundation of willpower
💪The role of self-control in daily life
💪The correlation between willpower and motivation; and
💪How to increase your willpower

Rediscovering Happiness

The common understanding of happiness is that it comes from ticking goals or acquiring things.

While there’s some truth to this, there’s another angle to happiness that the trap of individualism makes us miss- and recently I experienced it firsthand.

My masseuse, who’s developed a great deal of fondness for me over the years, mentioned an upcoming family wedding. Needless to say, she doesn’t have a lot in the bank and barely manages to get by day-to-day.

So I offered to give her daughter one of my outfits that I’ve barely worn. While the idea touched her enough, she was beyond delighted when I handed it over to her a week later.

That smile on her face and excitement of seeing the outfit was probably the most satisfying thing I’ve seen in a while. And in that moment, I realized:

Doing things for others is an underrated path to experiencing happiness in its fullest form.

This is the foundation of fulfillment. It’s not chasing self-centered goals but rather involving others in the journey that creates a truly fulfilling life.

Every once in a while, try doing something nice for someone else.

Even if it’s giving up something you’re attached to….

I promise you won’t regret it.

In case you missed me last week

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