The surprising secret to inspring change

The hardest thing to do with people is to expect them to change (that and along with getting back money you are owed.)

And in the process of forcing change out of others, we completely lose the plot.

The default strategy?

Criticizing, shaming, and coercing- eventually to give up and become resentful. 

But there’s a wildly underrated approach,one that’s far more effective (and less maddening) than banging your head against the same wall.  

It’s called validation. 

Yep, probably the last thing you’d expect… “Why would I validate someone for the exact behaviour Im trying to change?”

Here’s why..

Because every human, no matter their ge, gender, background, and intelligence, all crave to be loved and accepted. 

If you look around, you’ll notice that most dysfunctional behaviour in ‘adults’ is a result of them screaming for help, trying to fulfill this very need that wasn’t met in their childhood.  

Trump is a classic example. (No offense, Republicans)

When you see grown ass wordly leaders or peple in power screaming for attention, you know there’s something else going on there. The need to be seen, heard, and understood is greater than we realise. 

The truth is that people don’t resist change because they’re incapable. They resist it because they feel judged and misunderstood. 

Dare to shame them, and they get dominated by anger and resist change more than ever. 

So if you’ve ever tried to attack someone to get your point across only to have it backfire in your face, you know why now. 

The best (but not easiest) way to get through to someone is to first accept them for who they are. Then, with love and understanding, challenge them to rise higher. 

After all, honey does catch more flies than vinegar.

In case you missed me last week…

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