The downside of chasing big goals

Whether we consciously realize this or not, goal-setting is deeply wired within us.

Before we even learn to tie our laces we’re posed with big questions of what we want to become as individuals.

The need for approval prompts us to throw out big answers that inevitably involve wealth, popularity, or relevance. And so we end up chasing these things in one way or another.

But evidence tells us that even reaching these milestones often leaves a weird sense of emptiness and that’s when you realise life’s played a joke on you.

The kind of joke that Jim Carey experienced….

Despite achieving tremendous success, fame, and wealth, Carrery has been pretty vocal about feeling empty and unfulfilled at the peak of his career.
He even went as far as saying:

 “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they dreamed of so they can see it’s not the answer”

Insights like these inspire the question: What drives fulfillment for us humans and where have we gone wrong in our understanding of it?

Three things stand out:

Fulfillment is a deeply personal journey with no single formula for achieving it.

What does stand out as a common thread though is a healthy relationship with time.

Self-reflective question: Am I spending my time in a meaningful way?

Given that time is so imperative to our existence, how it is spent drives a large part of meaning in our lives.

Being challenged is another big factor. As much as we naturally gravitate towards comfort, it is the greatest enemy of growth. And without growth, fulfillment remains an impossible feat.

Self-reflective question: Am I doing things that challenge me and snap me out of my comfort zone?

Doing hard things builds self-esteem which drives a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

But nothing is complete without contribution, which is perhaps one of the most underrated aspects of this journey. This explains the dilemma of miserable millionaires. Those who have achieved incredible levels of outer success but still experience an inner void.

Self-reflective question: Am I making a meaningful contribution to others?

While happiness and fulfillment are as nuanced as they are, acting upon some fundamentals can bring us closer to achieving these states instead of getting trapped in mainstream narratives.

What drives fulfillment for you? Would love to hear your thoughts.

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