A magical connection hack, the cost of having more and a relationship buzz killer

What would you do if a street gang confronted you on your way home?

Flinch? Freeze? Run? Attack?

Any of these common coping mechanisms would apply in a situation like this. Striking up a conversation with the bullies is the last thing you would consider. Not if you care for your life.

But that’s what Marshall Rosenberg did.

As someone who has left a legacy through his work in non-violent communication, he cracked the code to connect with humans. Any kind of them.

In an incident where he was confronted by an intimidating gang of boys, his defense mechanism was an unexpected one- showing vulnerability.

Needless to say, he was mocked: “Oh look, he’s feeling hurt. Isn’t that too bad”… Followed by some laughs.

But that did not deter Marshall.

He carried on in his attempt to connect with their needs and understand the root cause of what was driving their behavior.

Forty-five minutes into the conversation, a two-way connection was established. The boys left feeling like they had made a new friend.

More importantly, Marshall reached his home safely and in one piece.

And that is the power of empathy.

Being able to connect with people’s needs and seeing beyond their surface-level behaviors can bridge differences in unimaginable ways.

For the record, Marshall was able to strike the same connection with prisoners.

If he can get through criminals, what’s to stop us from doing the same with people in our lives?

The cost of having more

Being at peace is the ultimate goal in life.

But there’s a silent culprit that adds to overwhelm and frustration and we aren’t even aware of it.

It’s called decision fatigue.

I’ve caught this happening in the smallest ways like deciding:

-What to order from an elaborate menu
-What to watch from the million options across three streaming channels
-What to wear daily aka every woman’s dilemma. 

In the pursuit of having more than our previous generations ever did, we may have taken the concept of abundance a little too far.

Having more does not necessarily lead to a better life. In most cases, it’s led to chaos and confusion.

While it may not always be feasible to avoid the plethora of options that are thrown our way every day, creating systems and limiting the amount of time to make a decision, can help.

Systems are mankind’s best yet most underutilized invention. Put them in place and everything else sorts itself out.

Why nagging doesn’t work

No one likes to be around a nagger. But women, often born perfectionists, like to offer their views about everything, which men take as being criticized.

It’s the one thing that pushes them away the most.

Alison Armstrong is an expert in masculine-feminine dynamics and shares a simple way that women can stop being so critical. Find out here:

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