The race between happiness & success, acing EQ and taming your control freak side

Whether we consciously realize this or not, most of us are stuck on the hedonic treadmill:

I will be happy when I crack that exam
I will be happy when I get that high-paying job….
I will be happy when I get married….
I will be happy when I have kids…..
I will be happy when these little shits listen to me…..

You know this can go on forever… while happiness ends up taking a complete backseat.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that happiness is a by-product of achieving success.

Thanks to groundbreaking studies, the opposite has been proven to be true. Success is what you get when your state of being is happy.

The reason is simple.

When we‘re happy-we’re motivated, more optimistic, open to possibilities, and better primed for creativity, all of which lead to better performance.

This leads to the inevitable question: What defines happiness? And how can we all be happier?

While there is no universal definition, as happiness is an extremely subjective experience, researchers have come to conceptualize happiness as pleasure combined with feelings of meaning and purpose.

If you were to follow the pioneer of positive psychology Martin Silegman’s formula, you would essentially be looking at 3 core things:

⭐️Pleasure
⭐️Engagement
⭐️Meaning

Focusing on one part of the equation isn’t enough. It’s only by pursuing all three that we can lead the most fulfilling lives, ultimately carving the path for success.

Identify what brings each of the three elements into your life and double down on that.

Developing your awareness quotient

Being emotionally intelligent is a superpower.

It gives you an edge over the majority who get caught up in the endless cycle of blaming others, reacting aggressively at every little opportunity, and making hasty judgments about others.

But to have high EQ one needs to be self-aware. Here are five questions to facilitate higher self-awareness:

1.What impact does my communication have on others?
2. How do my emotions influence my decisions?
3. How easily do I admit my mistakes? What do I find hard about it?
4. Do I tend to focus on the positive or negative traits of others?
5. Am I open to other perspectives or fixated on my own?

This is not a one-time exercise but rather a means of cultivating a learning mindset because asking such questions leads to deeper reflection and stronger self-insights.

If you want to ace emotional intelligence, emotion-smart is for you.

Ending the control freak syndrome

There are two kinds of people in this world:

Warriors
and
Worriers.

Most of us fall in the second category and often chronically so. The worst part is that we often worry about stuff we have the least control over.

This image from Carl Richards serves as a powerful reminder:

Life throws heaps of tests our way.

At any given point, the only control we have over is how we manage our minds and react to situations.

In case you missed me last week…

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