How to save an argument and detect idiots.

If you hop on to Google you’ll see a heap of books, sites, & resources on ‘The Art of Communication’, and rightly so.

We mistake communication as a simple act of speaking and listening but if you think about it, it’s a real art.

It’s about choosing the right words, making sure they’re received in the right way, and being intentional about the context of when and where something is said.

That is if you want to have impactful conversations…

Of course, some people have no filter and take pride in saying whatever the heck they want.

Quite frankly I see nothing admirable about having foot-in-the-mouth syndrome. It creates embarrassment and invites unnecessary conflict.

If anything, it shows a complete lack of Emotional intelligence. On the contrary, leading interactions with intentionality makes a significant difference.

Here are 3 questions that can help you do that and prevent your conversations from going south:

1. What do I really want to accomplish from this conversation?
90% of conversations go awry because of impulsive reactions. Emotions often take the reins leading to offensive remarks and a tense atmosphere.
When you start with this question in mind, it gives you a sense of direction and will help you become more conscious of how you express yourself.

2. Does this actually need to be said?
More often than not, the answer is NO.

Sometimes we just like to blurt things out to satisfy our egos, only to backfire because it doesn’t serve a useful purpose. Pausing and reflecting during a confronting conversation can avoid a lot of damage.

3. How can I express my truth without hurting the other?
This is where both patience and character are tested. Everyone deserves to speak their truth but it needs to be done in a way that encourages others to speak theirs.
Words hold weight and once spoken out loud they can’t be unsaid. So it’s worth considering the impression you want to leave and the relationship you want to have with the person. You’ve probably heard this countless times but I’ll repeat it again: It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it.

Your conversations will start to shift when you realize the impact of your words and actions on others.

Won't hurt to be more intentional and think twice before voicing out your feelings.

How to be your own therapist

Relationships can be pretty complicated because it takes two complex beings to form one.

We’re way too used to expecting our friends and families to sort out their quirks and complexities but little do we realize that we have a whole family eco-system running within ourselves!

In the world of psychology, this is called Internal family systems (IFS).

If you’ve ever felt conflicted with what you’re meant to do vs what you ‘should do’, its because of your various inner parts that are constantly competing with each other. Your lazy part vs your ambitious part, or your stingy part vs your generous part.

When you understand the root cause of your behaviors and get to the crux of your unhealthy habits, you create transformational shifts in your life.

That’s what Dr Tori Olds helps people do. She’ll teach you how to be your own therapist.

P.S: If you like what you hear, leave a review?

Creating your idiot detection system

In a world that incentivizes polarisation, hate and division and where we are conditioned to judge people before even having a conversation with them, it is conversations like these that will create shifts in society.

This 3-minute speech was honey to my ears and it’s incredibly refreshing to see someone at this level understand the essence of true intelligence and success.

Here’s to creating your own idiot detection system:

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