The Untapped Superpower that can solve Conflict

At a time when the Palestinians’ sentiments towards America were deeply unfavorable, a brave American man attempted to address a group of 170 Palestinian Muslim men at a Refugee camp in Bethlehem.

As he spoke, the audience got visibly restless, whispering among themselves…

The speaker’s translator alerted him that they were angry at the fact that he was American.

Within minutes, the group erupted in rage, shouting, ‘Murderer! Assassin! Child-Killer!- a reaction fueled by the fact that just the night before, the camp had been attacked with several tear gas canisters labelled Made in USA.

Fortunately, this didn’t deter the speaker, and he shifted his attention to what the group was actually feeling and needing. He particularly addressed the man who called him a murderer, seeking to understand where he was coming from, asking questions like: “Are you angry because you would like my government to use its resources differently?”

After several minutes of an empathetic dialogue, offering space to be vulnerable and truly heard, the once-angered man finally felt understood and began to calm down.

And get this- the very same man who accused the speaker of being a ‘murderer’, ended up inviting him to his home for a Ramadan dinner.

In case you’re wondering, the speaker was Marshall Rosenberg, who left a legacy with his work around NVC (Non-Violent Communication).

Whether it’s Gaza-Israel, Ukraine-Russia, India-Pakistan, or the space between you and your partner, remember this…

Conflict is never about what’s being done or said. It’s almost always about:

👉🏻What’s not being said…
👉🏻The pain that hasn’t been witnessed….
👉🏻The fears that haven’t found safety…
👉🏻The needs that haven’t been acknowledged.

Personally, I’ve come to see the world as a giant theatrical playground of kids trapped in adult bodies, acting out with their fragile egos, screaming for attention.

Where people are quick to jump to conclusions, invest energy into perpetuating conflict, and canceling others, it takes a certain degree of emotional intelligence to zoom out and ask what’s really going on here?

And in a world that is susceptible to polarization and conflict, what if we made better choices and paused to ask:
What is this person really needing right now? Can I listen without trying to judge, fix, and defend? Can I create space for the truth even if it’s uncomfortable?

This isn’t about being passive. It’s about being powerful without the violence and the drama. It’s about making space for dignity, even in disagreement. Something that our politicians and worldly leaders can seriously benefit from…..especially in the context of all that is happening today. 😪

I’ll leave you with this quote from Rosnerberg- one he spent his life trying to teach the world:

“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need”.

Where in your life can you see this playing out? within yourself or someone else…..

In case you missed me last week

Thanks for making it to the end, my friend! Are you subscribed yet? If not….